Sir Cliff Richard is performing in Japan on the last leg of a successful world tour. The audience go wild as Cliff asks them if there is anything he can sing especially for them. ‘Tits and fanny!’ scream the audience. ‘I can’t sing that,’ says Cliff. ‘I’m a devout Christian.’ ‘Tits and fanny!’ scream the crowd. ‘Oh, come on,’ says Cliff. ‘Tits and fanny!’ scream the crowd. ‘Okay, okay,’ says Cliff. ‘But I don’t know how it goes.’ ‘Tits and fanny …’ sing the crowd in unison. ‘ … how we don’t talk anymore.’